From Moments with You
Daily Connections for couples
Excerpted
from Moments
With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Copyright ® 2011 Dennis
and Barbara Rainey
November
3
Tough Times,
Together
We who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without
strength and not just please
Romans 15:1
Life
in a fallen world can be tough. But what makes suffering and hardship worse is
that they often turn us against each other rather than toward each other. Here
are a few ways to keep that from happening as you negotiate the common speed
bumps and detours of life:
Give your spouse time and freedom to process trials differently. Fight
the urge to discount each other's emotions or grow impatient with the time it's
taking your spouse to deal with something. Some of us are quick to move on.
Some process slowly and are more introspective. Give your spouse freedom to not
be like you.
Recognize the temptation to withdraw from each other during
periods of intense challenges. As a result, you end up
thinking your spouse doesn't understand you or isn't taking the tough time
seriously enough, which makes you want to pull back even more.
Respond to trials by embracing God's perspective of suffering. Search
the Scriptures for God's counsel and point of view. Verses like "In
everything give thanks" (1 Thessalonians 5:18) help to strengthen you
through seasons of suffering by reminding you that God is good and He is in
control.
Remember that your mate is never your enemy. As my
friend Dr. Dan Allender says, your spouse is your "intimate ally," a
fellow burden bearer for a difficult time.
If the burden or suffering persists, seek outside help. If you
feel as if you're slipping off into a deep ditch as a couple, don't wait until
you have all four wheels stuck before you seek help. Find godly counsel by
calling a mature mentoring couple, your pastor or a biblical counselor to gain
some traction.
