The New Me?

I've been pondering changes that happen in our lives. I here it from all of you and I've experienced in my own life. I think about the transformations I have gone thru…..four careers, two marriages, multiple homes, multiple pets…and that’s not including emotional, spiritual and physical changes. Sometimes we strive for change, actually chase it down. Sometimes change comes unexpectedly. I have never feared change. I have always loved it, actually thrived on it. When I see change coming I find it exhilarating. Anyone who knows me knows that three years ago (next week July 18th) I began a journey to lose weight, get healthy and extend my life. I lost over 150lbs, have gained back about 20 and every day remains a huge challenge to maintain my weight and embrace a new lifestyle. Some days are good, some days bad - evil food calls my name…very loudly. But it has been an incredible challenge and incredible change.

Last year I walked half a dozen 5K/10K’s…..and in November walked the 60-mile 3-day Breast Cancer Walk. I guess the 3-day was sort of the culmination for the journey I had been on. It was something I never could have done any other time in my life because of weight – it was a huge personal challenge. So why am I babbling on?

I've been building/planting a cactus garden on the hill behind my house…big hill, pretty big garden. Somehow I tweaked my knee…which after a few weeks sent me to the Orthopedic. We of course have one practically on call with Mick’s on-again off-again back issues. Anyway after an MRI, he says I have severe arthritis in my knee and basically no cartilage left…so get used to the pain. Hmmmm, doesn't sound like me. Then I have this hip that since the walk has had on and off pain…diagnosis – arthritis. And, my lower leg from knee to toes now has constant, do you call it chronic, pain – always present varying levels of pain. Cause? Most likely arthritis in my low back.

So how do you go from walking 60-miles and building a cactus garden in a body that is 150lbs lighter to living in constant pain and popping Tylenol in the course of a few weeks? What’s that all about? Not a change I’m liking. My doctor keeps reminding me that I will be 50 in just over 6 months. Fifty – are you kidding me? Okay first of all, can I really be turning 50 – what happened to the last 30 years. Guess they were there, full of lots of change. Second, HELLO fifty is not old…so I don’t plan to be hobbling around for the next 30 years. Guess the next change is a different doctor. I’ll keep you posted.

Random Updates

Summer Small Group - we will be launching a summer small group for Military Wives the week of July 6th. Interested? It will be for prayer, support, digging deeper into the weekend sermons and fellowship. So two questions for you. One: Are you interested in joining? Two: When should we have it? During the weekday? Thursday evenings? Or Saturday before Frontline? If you are interested, send me your thoughts, so we can get this organized.

Summer Picnic - Our annual picnic is quickly approaching. I can't tell you how cool it is going to be…okay I'll try! It is going to be really cool! At Green Oak Ranch in Vista (off Sycamore). The food will be plentiful and beyond amazing. We have tons of activities for kids and adults, or you can just hang out in the beautiful park-like setting. Bring your beach chairs, blankets etc. And by the way - if you are attending any military function between now and July 11th where you could hand out flyers, let me know and I'll get some to you or I can send it by email. This is a great event to invite friends, neighbors, etc. It is for all military and their families - married or single, old or young, enthusiastic or boring - we'll be ready for you!

Breakfasts - There is no breakfast in July due to the picnic, and we were thinking no breakfast in August. But WAIT...skipping two months!! NO! So on August 1st, we'll be having a..........lunch! A Potluck - you are cooking for me :-) We'll have prizes for best dish, most patriotic and whatever else I can think of. So I'll be getting more detail to you, but this will be eating, socializing and getting to know one another. A day of fun and food - what could be better? Mark you calendars.

Women - I am getting more and more women asking about the ministry who are girlfriends, or women who are active duty. When we started the ministry, we called it Military Wives, but it is open to all women. I just can't figure out how to rename it. If I say Military Women, then it sounds like only women serving. So the name remains the same, but do know we have active duty women, single women and girlfriends - if you are female and connected to the military - it is for you.

Up Close and Personal

So at dinner tonight with friends, we started talking about high school reunions and friends from our past etc. I’ve had a few reunions thus far (yep, last summer was my 30 year....no I didn't attend.) Thirty! Geez…doesn’t seem possible. Anyway, the question came up as to who we have kept in touch with or would want to see again. For me, I guess it is pretty simple…no one…which may explain why I haven’t attended any of my reunions. I think when I was younger I held closer to friendships. I had a few close friends in my twenties, very close friends. As I hit my thirties, I moved to a wide range of associations. No close friends, just lots of people I knew relatively well. It has been a comfortable way to be. You don’t have to be transparent with anyone. Folks see whatever you allow them to see. But does this work? Is it how we are supposed to be?

Can you name three people (who are not related to you) that you would trust with your deepest, most intimate thoughts? I’d guess half of you reading this can name three very quickly, no problem. But the other half (like me) have to think about it. Then on thinking about, you get a bit anxious…because I must know three…or two....even one. Geez…I don’t know….does it have to be my deepest thoughts and feelings?

I’ve learned a few things (well hopefully more than a few) over the last couple of years. According to the corporate world out there, we all need deeper, more trusting relationships if we are going to be successful in career and in life. And then we also know that God did not make us to do life alone. We are meant to do life together. We are meant to share our hopes and fears, failures and goals, dreams and disappointments. We also need people we can ask for help when needed. People who can encourage us, hold us accountable and give us a strong push when it applies. We all need friends we are safe with. You don’t have to do life alone, you are not meant to.

You just have to be willing to reach out, or to accept the hand that reaches to you. Once there, you have to be real, be transparent, be honest with the person(s) you are talking with, as well as honest to yourself. To develop close relationships there must be frequent serious communication, a balance of relationship (how does each person contribute to the relationship) and trust that has been built through helping each other.

I don’t by any means have this down. I still find it easier to function as a bit of a loner, but I keep working on it. My church small groups helps, as it forces me into relationship. And of course my husband helps, since he has never met a person that wasn’t a friend. So I’ll keep plugging along and as I teeter on the brink of turning fifty, maybe I’ll have less broad associations and more deep friendships, as I believe God intended.