Kind of a cool idea...

Although I was in retail for many years (yes selling random stuff made in China, but also selling books - if that counts), I love the idea of supporting our local small businesses and entrepreneurs. Read on....
Christmas 2011 -- Birth of a New Tradition

As the holidays approach, the giant factories are kicking into high gear to provide Americans with monstrous piles of cheaply produced goods and merchandise that we don't really need. Do any of us really need one more "thing." We are so rich as a society, so rich as a nation. Even the poorest of us have such wealth in comparison to 90% of the world’s population. We live in the world's wealthiest nation, yet 13 percent of people living in the United States live in poverty. Statistics say that nearly one in four children live in households that struggle to put food on the table.

Ah, but it is the season of giving, let the shopping wars begin. What if this year was just a bit different? What if we include the gift of genuine concern for our neighbors. It's time to think outside the box. Who says a gift needs to fit in a shirt box? Two ideas to consider:

GIVE A GIFT OF SERVICE:

Everyone -- yes EVERYONE gets their hair cut. How about gift certificates from your local hair salon or barber?

Who wouldn't appreciate getting their car detailed? Small, locally owned detail shops and car washes would love to sell you a gift certificate or a book of gift certificates.

Are you one of those extravagant givers? Perhaps that grateful gift receiver would like his driveway sealed, or lawn mowed for the summer, or a foursome to the local golf course.

There are a lots of owner-run restaurants -- all offering gift certificates. And, if your intended isn't the fancy eatery sort, what about a half dozen breakfasts at the local breakfast joint. We’re not talking big National chains -- this is about supporting your home town neighbors with their financial lives on the line to keep their doors open.

How many people couldn't use an oil change for their car, truck or motorcycle, done at a shop run by the local working guy?

Thinking about a heartfelt gift for mom? Mom would LOVE the services of a local cleaning lady for a day. (so would your favorite ministry lead – Ha!!)

My computer could use a tune-up, and I KNOW I can find some young guy who is struggling to get his repair business up and running.

OK, you were looking for something more personal. Local crafts people spin their own wool and knit them into scarves. They make jewelry, and pottery and beautiful wooden boxes.

Plan your holiday outings at local, owner operated restaurants and leave your server a nice tip. And, how about going out to see a play or ballet at your hometown theatre. Musicians need love too, so find a venue showcasing local bands or selling locally produced music.

As part of celebrating the season, lets encourage American small businesses to keep plugging away to follow their dreams. And, when we care about our neighbors, we care about our communities, and the benefits come back to us in ways we couldn't imagine.

GIVE A GIFT OF GIVING:

There are lots of worthy organizations who live and die by the donations we give. Have a cat lover in your family – make a donation to the Humane Society in their name instead of buying them yet one more cat statue.

Instead of buying your sister that pink sweater, donate towards finding a cure for Breast Cancer in her name. (or Brain Cancer, or Heart Disease, or….)

How about feeding the hungry or the homeless in someone’s name?

We want to be festive and celebrate the season, but do you REALLY need to buy another ten thousand lights for the house? When you buy a five dollar string of light, about fifty cents stays in the community. Instead how about leave the mailman, trash guy or babysitter a nice BIG tip.

GET CREATIVE

Six years ago, when we really needed it, Mick and I received an unexpected check in the mail.  It was from a couple in our growth group just reaching out to help make Christmas a little better for us. Six months later when we got on our feet, we used the same amount of money to launch the military minsitry. Each Christmas, Mick and I ask God to put before us a need that has our name on it, a place for us to “spend” our Christmas money. We may have less “stuff” under the tree, but our hearts are filled each year by the people we can reach and the ability to show Gods love.  

So whether you support local business or non-profit organizations this Christmas, be thoughtful in your gift-giving. This is a time for caring about each other, as God cared about each and every one of us, and isn't that what the Christmas message is all about?

A Mother by any other name...

Ah. Mothers Day…always an odd day. My brain goes back and forth all day….I’m not a mom, I don’t have a mom, I’m not a mom, I don’t have a mom…always a weird day. As a female everybody wishes you a Happy Mother’s Day, they don’t know it but I always feel awkward answering. I realized half way thru the day that I always just smile and say thank you…hmmm, I should be saying “you too”. So next person who said Happy Mother’s Day, I said “you, too!”…then realized she was about 15. Oh well…back to awkward.

Then of course you have the “Happy Mother’s Day, if you are a mother.” OK – that’s no better. Anyway always a weird day. Does remind me how much I miss my mom. She was a pretty cool mom, nothing “normal” about her – certainly not typical. But that is what I loved. If you quizzed my sister and I you would think we grew up with an entirely different mom, in an entirely different household – funny how our perspectives, impressions and memories can be so very different when we truly were in the same house with the same mom.

I remember my mom as bigger than life. Very intelligent, reserved, a voracious thirst for knowledge and eccentric as all get out. Highly creative, she loved Halloween and made amazing haunted houses, designed stage scenery when we were in dance and later went on to open a new age bookstore with all the strange and odd things that go with that. Most of all I remember her as my biggest fan. She had such an incredible impact on me clear into adulthood, but also was my greatest supporter as I traversed my twenties. When she died I remember thinking ‘who will be my support’? Who will be my fan? Of course I hadn’t met my husband Mick yet … so never knew there were two of them in this world that God would bless me with. Anyway…

The other special day this weekend was Military Spouse Day on Friday. It made me think of all my “wives” and what a heart I have for all of you. The road you travel, the strength you have, the men you support and of course the trouble you get into!! I so love being involved in your lives and having the opportunity to occasionally make a difference, to maybe lighten your load a bit. I just love the spirit and courage of “my wives.” Of course my mom was a military wife, married to a young marine at 18. She loved him and understood that she married the Corps, not just the man. She never lost that love and even 30 years after his death both cherished his memory and his Corps.

So on this Mothers Day, I thank God for the mother I had and to all my military wives out there, it’s a comfort to know a women like her, raised a women like me, so that whenever the opportunity presents I can mother you…even if just a little bit! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!

Coming To You from Under the Bus

Around our office we use a phrase….being thrown under the bus. If we have all the right people in the right seats on the bus, every once in awhile someone comes along to throw you under the bus. Occasionally I think it would be fun to have a signature line that says “coming to you from under the bus”. One thing I do know, the view from under the bus can be quite cloudy. I don’t know about everyone else buy I seem to run in very clear cycles…all is going well, or everything’s derailing at once. Nothing big and dramatic just little things but the visual is when Forrest Gump starts to run for the first time and his leg braces split apart and fall off in slow motion. Get the picture? Are you with me?

One of my military wives described it as driving down the street and your hubcaps fall off one by one, then a mirror drops off, then a door, then….but you are still driving along hanging on to the wheel hoping it doesn’t come off in your hands. Ever feel that way?

There is a clear answer, don’t hang on to the wheel, hang on to God, let Him take the wheel. Then when a hubcap spins off and rolls into the gutter you can watch and say wow, must not need that, guess that hubcap wasn’t in God’s plan for me.

And I guess some times it is okay to hang out under the bus…its humbling, it’s a time for reflection, a time for self evaluation. But when all is said and done, you need to climb back on the bus and let God take you where He chooses. He always has a plan, and the ride is pretty exciting.

Live Intentionally

Every other week I meet with a group of women...our goal is to work on our walk.... to endeavor to become more Godly women. I thought this would be fun information to share with you. We focus on four areas:

1. Be aware of who we are becoming
2. Live intentionally daily
3. Do little things with great love
4. Remember the Awe of God.

Two things we are currently exploring:

First from a Spiritual Assessment by Fred Smith: Do I have a Quiet Center in my Life? Okay ladies – this is a BIG one!

Francois Fenelon, who walked with God three hundred years ago, said, “Peace is what God wants for you no matter what is happening.”

I press this point to myself because it is important in my life. Oswald Chambers says, “In our Lord’s life there was none of the press and rush of tremendous activity that we regard so highly, and the disciple is to be as his master.” There is an important difference between the fast track and the frantic track. It is not God’s will for me that I be frantic. When I was heading the operations of a manufacturing corporation we had an excitable manager who, whenever he got confused, called a supervisors’’ meeting to display it. After one of these fruitless meetings, I gave him my favorite little verse” “When in trouble, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.”

This harriedness is epidemic in our society. Unless we are running on empty, we don’t feel we are normal. The other day I heard a prominent minister say that this next week that he had a breakfast meeting every morning. I wanted to say to him, “This is not the way to live. This is not the way to have a family. This is not the way, to me, to be a man of God.”

The late Senate chaplain Dick Halverson was helpful to me by suggesting that Jesus didn’t have a day planner; he simply “went about doing good.” When he was on his way to raise a dead child, he stopped to help a woman with an issue of blood. He didn’t prioritize raising the dead over helping the sick. He simply went about doing the good that came his way.

Jesus had the quiet center. Do I have it too? Peace is the evidence of God.

And the second thing to ponder:

Attitude is everything. Yes, Everything. Choose your attitude
It is more vital than events. It's more important than what's happened. Because attitude determines whether we are happy or unhappy, fulfilled or empty, the positive perspective assures us that we can never fail. A hopeful attitude guarantees internal success. Attitude- the altitude adjuster determines whether we fly high or low, crash or soar, glide or slide.

Anybody can have a positive attitude when things are going well. What really matters is how you act when things are going badly that determines the strength of your character. An appropriate attitude means feeling hopeful in challenging times. Stop yourself. Count your blessings. Look for the good. Here are the magnificent 7 ways to improve your attitude, and therefore your God walk…i.e. being a Godly women.

1. Choose to be Enthusiastic
Corporate presidents voted it the most valuable personality trait. It's the biggest single factor in successful selling. Think enthusiastically. Talk enthusiastically. Become enthusiastic by acting enthusiastic. Your thoughts and actions establish your level of enthusiasm. I think you can also glean a lot of your enthusiasm by keeping your eyes on God and knowing He is active, very active, in your life.

2. Be Alive to Everything You Do
Walk fast. Put a bounce in your step. A good smile radiates enthusiasm. Put spirit into your speech by varying the tempo, raising and lowering the pitch, changing the tone and modulation. Force yourself to act with enthusiasm, and soon you will feel enthusiastic. As in fake it until you make it (one of my mother’s favorite sayings)

3. Broadcast Good News
No one ever made a friend or accomplished anything worthwhile by transmitting bad news. Good news, on the other hand, promotes good will and spreads enthusiasm. The message, "Hey! I've got good news" gets the attention of everyone. Take sunshine to school or work. Always aim to make the person you talk to feel better than they otherwise would. I like this thought…it eliminates gossip, griping and complaining – what would that do to your Godliness?

4. The Power of Visualization
Imagination powerfully influences successful outcomes. When imagination and willpower compete, the imagination always wins. Force of will never keeps you striving for success, but proper visualization will. All peak performers visualize success. Before you try to do anything, close your eyes and visualize yourself doing it well, ask for God’s help and guidance…when really struggling ask for His intervention. God can do it perfectly so let him work through you.

5. Positive Self-Talk
What did you say to yourself today? Did you moan and groan about everyone at school or work? Did you complain about your co-workers and boss to to your friends? What we think is 100% reflected in how we feel. If all we think about is negative thoughts, our actions will be negative. Remember "I'm a God’s child. He wants me Healthy! Wealthy! Happy! I do what I ought to do, when I ought to do it, whether I want to or not! No Debate! I do the good work. I saw this saying this week:

Look back and thank God.
Look forward and trust God.
Look around and serve God.
Look within and find God!

6. Love Others
How can we become more loving? By bringing encouragement, optimism, and hope to all that we meet. By helping others feel comfortable in our presence. By spreading joy and goodwill. By being concerned about the wishes and desires of others. By understanding, caring, accepting, and forgiving. By becoming more concerned about helping others achieve their individual desires, than our own.

7. Never Miss 1 to 6 Above

Great food for thought....more to come....

Start Fresh...

As I turned 50 this past month I decided to make a big deal out of it. Everyone else does, over-the hill and all that stuff, so I thought okay lets go for it. Let everyone know, have a party, go away a few days and celebrate. I even thought what the heck share what I have learned about life and marriage at the Military Wives Breakfast. So I did it all and I passed the big 50 mark (I assume the celebrating doesn’t go all year!)

I’ve definitely had a lot on my mind the past 4-6 weeks...taking a bit of a life assessment. Where I am, who am I, how is my God walk and where do I need to adjust, fine-tune and/or full-on change. I’ve been thinking about not only where I am, but where I have been. As I thought back, I wondered whether I would want to re-live time that has passed. Would I want to rewind my life? What would it be like to change some of the past decisions I’ve made. How different would life now be if I had the chance to apply all that I know now to my life back then? Surely the course of my life would be dramatically altered.

Of course the more I thought about it, the more convinced I was that I wouldn’t change a thing. As I think about some of the decisions I’ve made, there are certainly things I wouldn’t want to share...things I am not proud of and prefer to keep imbedded deep inside (things from my pre-Jesus days, so to speak :-)) And as much as I might want to have a chance to right those wrongs, everything that has happened in my life brings me to the place where I am right now. Each step I took, each decision I made, each and every action are woven together to create the life I now know. While I may not be proud of each individual choice I've made or thing I’ve done, they're woven together into a tapestry that is my life. I heard the analogy once that every tapestry has a wrong and right side. The back is where all the knots and mixed up threads hide. When you turn it over, it can be amazing to see how all of those random pieces of thread work together to become something beautiful. That’d be my life now – beautiful.

So each night as we go to bed we get to rewind the clock, turn back out lives. Because as the dawn comes and we face a new day, we have the opportunity to do things right, to make good choices and make wise decisions. So today – start fresh, and do it right.

Fitting in...

Wow..what a couple weeks! I went into surgery October 6th. All went well with the surgery until time to go home when I had a little problem staying conscious anytime I was vertical. In the end we had Mick and myself, my surgeon, the surgical nurse, the office nurse and some other random office people all in the parking garage trying to keep me conscious long enough to get me back inside the building.

Passing out is weird...I just felt like I wanted to sleep. I’d close by eyes and feel like I’d doze off then everyone would yell and put smelling salts under my nose and 3-4 minutes later I’d wake up. Then move and we’d start all over again. In the end I ended up in the hospital for a couple days while they figured out where I was losing blood. Two days later I had a second surgery to sort of vacuum me out remove pooling blood and fixing any leaks. So I came home after that and all’s been pretty good. I am really surprised how little pain I’ve actually had. Of course, these amazing little white pills they gave me seem to help a whole lot with any pain issues.

So I’m now confined (sort of) to the couch. It’s been fun though...friends have been bringing meals and it’s like a taste test every night. Mick is in heaven! So cool to have a hot meal for him every night and I don’t have to do a thing. I could get used to this. Of course sitting on the couch has given me lots and lots of time to think. Well actually I am in a four hour cycle. Take a pill – sleep for 3 hours – wake for one...take a pill sleep for three, wake for one etc. Anyway, so during the one hour waking time, I’ve been thinking...

My surgery was elective. I have the advantage of “needing it” due to weight loss. But it did make me think a lot about the choices we make to fit in, to feel better about ourselves, to change into someone or something we think we are not. I saw these beautiful girls in the surgeons office and couldn’t help but wonder what were they having done, fixed, nipped or tucked. Did they really need it? They looked modelish, yet they were in being "fixed".

We spend so much time trying to be other than we are. As I am approaching the great age of 50, I am acutely aware that I don’t seek the same public approval as I did when I was younger. I now get my “approval” some from my husband and most from my relationship with God. Of course some is just age and I got tired of asking for some illusive approval that never really came. But boy do I remember being in my teens, 20’s and even 30’s and constantly seeking to fit in to get approval from who...the cool people? The in-crowd? The next door neighbors? and so on. I remember once going to pick up my nephews from a swim lesson. I arrived early so went over and sat by a couple of my sisters neighbors, whom I had met a few times. They got up and moved! Yikes. Guess I didn’t fit into that neighborhood.

Anyway, I have a friend in their 20’s struggling with the need to fit in. They morph and change to fit whatever crowd they are trying to fit into, so much so that they no longer have a grasp on who they are. Have you been there? I lived there for a lot of years. If we could just see ourselves as God sees us. When a mother sees her child, she knows this child is the most beautiful thing she could ever see. He/she is perfect... every grin, every action, every moment – they are beautiful, they are perfect, they are amazing. That is how God sees us – we are His daughter, we are his Son and we are perfect his His eyes. It is only in our own eyes that we have to measure up to someone else.

So time for another pill and I’ll catch you all in 3 hours...

Love Doing Life with you!

Today was the military wives potluck getting ready for, and recipes for, our upcoming cookbook. And, it was the 3 year anniversary of the North Coast military ministry. Amazing 3 years! Mick and I have been so incredibly blessed by this ministry. Three years ago, it was a thought, maybe a calling. I felt the push to start a military wives ministry. When I think back now, I’m not sure what it was…an impulse….a calling….God’s directive? When I first brought it up, I was told no, not now – we don’t need another ministry for women. But I kept feeling the tug. The push. So I went back….and we launched a ministry.

In last weekend’s sermon, Pastor Chris reminded us how we are called to service. In John 21, Jesus asked Peter “do you love me.” Two additional times Peter is asked the same question. The message is clear “if you love me, do what I ask.” Pretty simple stuff actually.

I find the longer I am in this ministry, the more it becomes about my love for Jesus. It becomes about my passion for Jesus. When I forget that and become passionate about the ministry, it still runs well, but doesn’t have quite the sparkle…the daily surprise. When I keep my eyes on Jesus and remember my heart for Him, then I am amazed daily by the blessings this ministry brings to my life. And the ways God allows us to bless others.

As Jesus confronts Peter the second time “do you love me?”, he goes on to say feed my lambs, tend my flock, feed my sheep. God puts us in position where we can be used to serve Him and care for His children. So as I look at the ministry we have today, I am in awe how God has worked this ministry and blessed me through it. I love doing life with you guys! Can’t wait to see where we go from here…

The New Me?

I've been pondering changes that happen in our lives. I here it from all of you and I've experienced in my own life. I think about the transformations I have gone thru…..four careers, two marriages, multiple homes, multiple pets…and that’s not including emotional, spiritual and physical changes. Sometimes we strive for change, actually chase it down. Sometimes change comes unexpectedly. I have never feared change. I have always loved it, actually thrived on it. When I see change coming I find it exhilarating. Anyone who knows me knows that three years ago (next week July 18th) I began a journey to lose weight, get healthy and extend my life. I lost over 150lbs, have gained back about 20 and every day remains a huge challenge to maintain my weight and embrace a new lifestyle. Some days are good, some days bad - evil food calls my name…very loudly. But it has been an incredible challenge and incredible change.

Last year I walked half a dozen 5K/10K’s…..and in November walked the 60-mile 3-day Breast Cancer Walk. I guess the 3-day was sort of the culmination for the journey I had been on. It was something I never could have done any other time in my life because of weight – it was a huge personal challenge. So why am I babbling on?

I've been building/planting a cactus garden on the hill behind my house…big hill, pretty big garden. Somehow I tweaked my knee…which after a few weeks sent me to the Orthopedic. We of course have one practically on call with Mick’s on-again off-again back issues. Anyway after an MRI, he says I have severe arthritis in my knee and basically no cartilage left…so get used to the pain. Hmmmm, doesn't sound like me. Then I have this hip that since the walk has had on and off pain…diagnosis – arthritis. And, my lower leg from knee to toes now has constant, do you call it chronic, pain – always present varying levels of pain. Cause? Most likely arthritis in my low back.

So how do you go from walking 60-miles and building a cactus garden in a body that is 150lbs lighter to living in constant pain and popping Tylenol in the course of a few weeks? What’s that all about? Not a change I’m liking. My doctor keeps reminding me that I will be 50 in just over 6 months. Fifty – are you kidding me? Okay first of all, can I really be turning 50 – what happened to the last 30 years. Guess they were there, full of lots of change. Second, HELLO fifty is not old…so I don’t plan to be hobbling around for the next 30 years. Guess the next change is a different doctor. I’ll keep you posted.

Up Close and Personal

So at dinner tonight with friends, we started talking about high school reunions and friends from our past etc. I’ve had a few reunions thus far (yep, last summer was my 30 year....no I didn't attend.) Thirty! Geez…doesn’t seem possible. Anyway, the question came up as to who we have kept in touch with or would want to see again. For me, I guess it is pretty simple…no one…which may explain why I haven’t attended any of my reunions. I think when I was younger I held closer to friendships. I had a few close friends in my twenties, very close friends. As I hit my thirties, I moved to a wide range of associations. No close friends, just lots of people I knew relatively well. It has been a comfortable way to be. You don’t have to be transparent with anyone. Folks see whatever you allow them to see. But does this work? Is it how we are supposed to be?

Can you name three people (who are not related to you) that you would trust with your deepest, most intimate thoughts? I’d guess half of you reading this can name three very quickly, no problem. But the other half (like me) have to think about it. Then on thinking about, you get a bit anxious…because I must know three…or two....even one. Geez…I don’t know….does it have to be my deepest thoughts and feelings?

I’ve learned a few things (well hopefully more than a few) over the last couple of years. According to the corporate world out there, we all need deeper, more trusting relationships if we are going to be successful in career and in life. And then we also know that God did not make us to do life alone. We are meant to do life together. We are meant to share our hopes and fears, failures and goals, dreams and disappointments. We also need people we can ask for help when needed. People who can encourage us, hold us accountable and give us a strong push when it applies. We all need friends we are safe with. You don’t have to do life alone, you are not meant to.

You just have to be willing to reach out, or to accept the hand that reaches to you. Once there, you have to be real, be transparent, be honest with the person(s) you are talking with, as well as honest to yourself. To develop close relationships there must be frequent serious communication, a balance of relationship (how does each person contribute to the relationship) and trust that has been built through helping each other.

I don’t by any means have this down. I still find it easier to function as a bit of a loner, but I keep working on it. My church small groups helps, as it forces me into relationship. And of course my husband helps, since he has never met a person that wasn’t a friend. So I’ll keep plugging along and as I teeter on the brink of turning fifty, maybe I’ll have less broad associations and more deep friendships, as I believe God intended.

The Voices sound like Jelly Beans

So I have been pondering food lately…okay not really pondering maybe obsessing, certainly eating! To start with you probably need to know my history. I was ten when I first started to gain weight. My mom was overweight (yes you could and should say obese, but this is my mom, so be nice.) I actually have a weird recollection of recognizing that she was overweight and wanting to be like her. I have the same weird recollection about wearing glasses. My mom and sister both wore glasses and I didn’t. I’d sit and squint, until I think I squished my eyes into near-sightedness. Maybe I would have gotten there anyway but hours of squinting probably didn’t help. Anyway, the fat didn’t affect my eyes…so I’ll go back to talking about weight. By my teens I was definitely overweight which continued into my twenties. Then the dieting – up, down, up, down, up, down. I should have just done push ups (up down up down up down) and it might have been more effective. I don’t even remember all the random diets.

Twice I’ve lost a substantial amount of weight, once on a liquid fast….hmmmm…now that I think about it, I think both times were on a liquid fast. Lost 100 lbs or so…then happily or unhappily ate my way back to the beginning. If you read diet or self-help books, you learn that food addiction is about control…or lack of control…or self-image…or lack of self-image….or rebellion….or deprivation. Dr, Phil says it is all about internal dialog telling yourself that you are not a good person. I think Dr. Phil might be tuned to the wrong channel. My dialogue goes nothing like that. I’ve read all the diet/self help books and I’ve never had that AH HA, the part that explains what goes on in my head. I think there is a definite battle that goes on between the ears. One little voice says "I will not eat that cookie," then the other voice answers, "Oh, but it will be so good and you deserve it.” Back and forth and back and forth….

So in 2006, as I crested 300 pounds, I took a giant leap and had gastric bypass…to be exact a Roux-en-Y where the stomach is separated and a small pouch is created and connected directly to the intestine. From there I lost 150 pounds. I won’t go into all the details, hands down the single hardest thing I have ever done – it certainly is not the easy way out.

So now I am analyzing and brain debating addiction. They say it take 20 days to change a habit – wrong! Two years and I can slip into the same old eating patterns without a thought. Put a jar of jelly beans in my vicinity and all thought of restraint is gone. It is amazing to think that with just a small pouch and no stomach access that we can still gain weight, but check any magazine or ask around and everyone knows someone who gained it all back. You actually have to beat the odds, bypass the bypass so to speak. So what makes it worth it? Are jelly beans that good? Are you kidding me?

According to wikipedia: “Addiction is characterized by the compulsive use of substances or engagement of behaviors despite clear evidence to the user of consequent morbidity and/or other harmful effects.” Yup, makes total sense.

So what has to happen is to make a life-long change in my relationship with food. You’d think after gastric bypass and all the life changes it created, that this would come naturally, but no. I keep thinking it is going to take some shift in consciousness – like a switch. I hear the right thing, read the right thing and walla – switch shuts off (or turns on) and I have new perspective in controlling my food intake. In the meantime, every day is a battle of will with myself.

We create powerful obsessions with food by trying not to eat certain foods. The more we try, the worse it gets. Eventually, the only thing filling our minds will be the thought of that thing we are trying not to eat. The jelly beans are calling to me. I hear voices and they sound just like jelly beans….or oatmeal cookies…..or wheat thins…….or

As kids, we ate when hungry and stopped when satisfied. But as adults, we morphed into pleasure-centered food addicts. Why is it so hard? Why is it so difficult to eat a little less? After all, we desperately want to eat right. It is our heart's desire. We want to be thin, healthy, full of life, looking great and living life to its fullest. But instead we throw it away for 20 seconds of taste-bud pleasure. Sick.

So I have no answers and continue to seek while each day fighting to not go back to where I have been. Can you relate?

FOOTPRINTS...A New Version

Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace. But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.

For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently. You and Jesus are walking as true friends!

This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps. Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one. This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger. Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.

This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints. You are amazed and shocked. Your dream ends.

Now you pray: 'Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You.'

'That is correct.'

'And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely.'

'Very good.. You have understood everything so far.'

When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way.'

'Precisely.'

'So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first.' There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.

'You didn't know? It was then that we danced!'

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So I wonder what it would feel like to dance with God? Would it be filled with joy? I found a website that you can go through a joy program, $450. The result: Feel free to just BE, and hang out in the stillness. For some reason this cracked me up. $450 to just be, I think I “be” pretty well on my own, and in the stillness – hanging out is pretty easy as well. But dancing with God, that is a lesson I might be interested in.

I remember the first time I danced with a boy. Eighth grade, a friend’s older brother. Even the song – Elton John's Yellow Brick Road. It was so awkward. He was pretty tall, me pretty short. Of course he was in high school, so “the dance” made for a pretty immediate crush. As I went into high school and started attending dances, it didn’t get much easier. I had a boyfriend so at least I always had a partner, but we could never figure out who was leading. I’ve always thought it would be cool to take dance lessons and be able to give up control and allow him to lead.

Believe it or not I danced with my hubby, Mick the first time last summer. Although I am better, I still feel the pull to lead. So what does that say about dancing with God? Ah…so obvious.

Being obedient to God, abiding in Him is a lot like dancing. Two people can’t lead, it will never be smooth, it will never flow, never be beautiful. When one person allows the other to completely lead, it’s magic to watch. Watch Dancing with Stars and you can see all levels of what I am talking about. When surrender takes place, two become one and the dance is beautiful. So how much joy comes when we truly surrender and let God lead. It is then that we can truly dance...