A Mother by any other name...

Ah. Mothers Day…always an odd day. My brain goes back and forth all day….I’m not a mom, I don’t have a mom, I’m not a mom, I don’t have a mom…always a weird day. As a female everybody wishes you a Happy Mother’s Day, they don’t know it but I always feel awkward answering. I realized half way thru the day that I always just smile and say thank you…hmmm, I should be saying “you too”. So next person who said Happy Mother’s Day, I said “you, too!”…then realized she was about 15. Oh well…back to awkward.

Then of course you have the “Happy Mother’s Day, if you are a mother.” OK – that’s no better. Anyway always a weird day. Does remind me how much I miss my mom. She was a pretty cool mom, nothing “normal” about her – certainly not typical. But that is what I loved. If you quizzed my sister and I you would think we grew up with an entirely different mom, in an entirely different household – funny how our perspectives, impressions and memories can be so very different when we truly were in the same house with the same mom.

I remember my mom as bigger than life. Very intelligent, reserved, a voracious thirst for knowledge and eccentric as all get out. Highly creative, she loved Halloween and made amazing haunted houses, designed stage scenery when we were in dance and later went on to open a new age bookstore with all the strange and odd things that go with that. Most of all I remember her as my biggest fan. She had such an incredible impact on me clear into adulthood, but also was my greatest supporter as I traversed my twenties. When she died I remember thinking ‘who will be my support’? Who will be my fan? Of course I hadn’t met my husband Mick yet … so never knew there were two of them in this world that God would bless me with. Anyway…

The other special day this weekend was Military Spouse Day on Friday. It made me think of all my “wives” and what a heart I have for all of you. The road you travel, the strength you have, the men you support and of course the trouble you get into!! I so love being involved in your lives and having the opportunity to occasionally make a difference, to maybe lighten your load a bit. I just love the spirit and courage of “my wives.” Of course my mom was a military wife, married to a young marine at 18. She loved him and understood that she married the Corps, not just the man. She never lost that love and even 30 years after his death both cherished his memory and his Corps.

So on this Mothers Day, I thank God for the mother I had and to all my military wives out there, it’s a comfort to know a women like her, raised a women like me, so that whenever the opportunity presents I can mother you…even if just a little bit! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!

Coming To You from Under the Bus

Around our office we use a phrase….being thrown under the bus. If we have all the right people in the right seats on the bus, every once in awhile someone comes along to throw you under the bus. Occasionally I think it would be fun to have a signature line that says “coming to you from under the bus”. One thing I do know, the view from under the bus can be quite cloudy. I don’t know about everyone else buy I seem to run in very clear cycles…all is going well, or everything’s derailing at once. Nothing big and dramatic just little things but the visual is when Forrest Gump starts to run for the first time and his leg braces split apart and fall off in slow motion. Get the picture? Are you with me?

One of my military wives described it as driving down the street and your hubcaps fall off one by one, then a mirror drops off, then a door, then….but you are still driving along hanging on to the wheel hoping it doesn’t come off in your hands. Ever feel that way?

There is a clear answer, don’t hang on to the wheel, hang on to God, let Him take the wheel. Then when a hubcap spins off and rolls into the gutter you can watch and say wow, must not need that, guess that hubcap wasn’t in God’s plan for me.

And I guess some times it is okay to hang out under the bus…its humbling, it’s a time for reflection, a time for self evaluation. But when all is said and done, you need to climb back on the bus and let God take you where He chooses. He always has a plan, and the ride is pretty exciting.

Listening While You Clean Grout...

Are you listening? I remember when I first began my walk with the Lord. Although I had believed in God my entire life, I had always seen Him as more of a universal power. A giant energy source that could be “tapped into.” Sort of like a generator. When life wasn’t going well or needed to be recharged just tap in, hook-up, channel some of the power and there ya’ go. Then the power went out, the generator shut down and there I was sitting in the dark, on my own, trying to charge my own life. Through the dark God reached out, once again as He had so many times before, but this time I reached back and found a new life. When I first stepped into a real relationship with God, an intimate relationship, personal, one-on-one, I was amazed. Every time I came to church it was like He was speaking directly to me. Whatever the pastor said spoke volumes in my life, in to my heart. God was so LOUD. He was changing me moment by moment, day by day. It was exhilarating in so many ways. Seriously? This was the God that had always been there? Patiently waiting for, patiently pursuing me while I was messing around with this idea of a giant generator God. Duh.

So life continues to change, I continue to grow and change, but God is not so loud now. Or is He? Am I just not listening? Do I now have “most” my walk down so maybe I don’t listen as well? Or maybe the big things have changed and we are now down to the “little” things that maybe I don’t need as much of God’s help with. I can handle the little things, can’t I? Is God really asking that I turn everything over…even the little things? So now when He speaks, now when change is required…is it because it’s the little things that maybe it does not seem so loud? Abide in Him….Follow Him….Follow Him….Follow Him….in EVERYTHING. LISTEN. God is still very loud, every day in every thing…LOUD. He hasn’t stopped changing me, He hasn’t stopped moving my life…we are just down to the little things and I am not listening as intently as I did in the beginning. It’s sort of like the countertop is clean and we are now working on the grout. I hate cleaning the grout….