Meeting Matilda...it's Halloween.

One of my fondest memories as a kid was Halloween. My mother loved Halloween. For whatever reason it was right up her alley. When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade she volunteered for the first time to put on the haunted house for the school Halloween carnival. It was on the stage in the cafeteria. She hung huge sheets of black plastic creating a maze winding through the stage. The hardwood floors created the necessary creaks along the way and we were set for scare. She would create scenes along the way that would scare, creep and make you jump. No blood and guts, nothing gooey or gross – just creepy and scary.

Early on she created Matilda. I do believe I still have parts of Matilda in a storage box somewhere in the attic. Matilda was a skeleton sculpted from paper mache and baked in the oven. The mache would peel and you’d have the illusion of peeling skin – very lifelike. She had a skeleton face, long white hair, boney fingers and sat in a white wedding dress, yes splattered with red paint. Matilda would simply sit in a rocking chair, slowly rocking back and forth. In her lap was a skeleton baby that would occasionally light up. View that as you shuffle along a cold, creaking, dark hallway and when the baby lit up – you’d jump a foot or two – if not the dark cloaked figure in the corner reaching out and slightly touching you would certainly give you a scream and a scare. Mom loved Halloween and she was good at it!

The haunted houses got more creative and more interesting during my elementary school years. I always think of my mom as very creative, very artsy, incredibly bright and enthusiastically eccentric. After quite a few years of haunted houses, I moved on the Jr. High and she lost her venue for her Halloween antics. So they moved to our house. We lived on Indian Rock Road in Vista and every Halloween, all the scare would come out of the garage and take form in our yard, cast along the cactus garden, peeking from the bushes and hanging from the trees. The soundtrack from the haunted house would blast out the front bedroom window so that anyone in the neighborhood knew without a doubt, we had candy if you could handle a little scare.

Years later, after my mother had passed away and I was running her bookstore, I would take a couple rooms of the store and turn them into a mini haunted house each October. It made me think of mom, was wildly creative and even gave Matilda a chance to come out of the attic for a yearly visit. Even today, Halloween will always remind me of mom, bring a smile to my face and cause me to peek out the window to see if there is a full moon or any black cats wandering across the driveway.

Back in the saddle...

Hey Ladies

How ya’ been. So rumor has (well maybe not a rumor as I have only heard it from one of you), never-the-less rumor has it, a few of you a wondering where I’ve been. See, I always said if I stopped “spamming’ you, you’d miss me. So here ya’ go.

1. UPDATE ON ME: Long story short – I had surgery October 6th for skin removal and reconstruction as a result of my weight loss (I’ve lost 150lbs over the last 3 years). Surgery went well however there were some complications and blood loss landing me in the hospital for a few days. I’ve now been home for 3 weeks and have basically slept thru the month of October! I am doing well but pretty surprised how long recovery is taking. I guess the problems I had in the hospital and the amount of blood loss really set me back. They are saying the blood loss recovery (returning to full energy) could take a few months as it takes a while for the red blood cells to stock back up. I spent 17 days without a shower. Once the neighbors started to complain, the doctor relented and let me shower – a very good thing! So I technically start back to work Monday (at least part days). Right now I am still waiting for the final drainage tube to be removed and just working towards getting full energy back. All else is good. Oh – and I might just look fabulous. A bit hard to get perspective at the moment but the glimpses are pretty amazing for someone who has been overweight her entire life.

2. THANKSGIVING: Exciting things happening here. We are busy planning our big Thanksgiving Feast. If you haven’t attended, it is way fun and yummy! Last year we served about 250 folks. We have a full turkey and ham feast with all the sides, desserts and left-overs. Crafts, bounce house, movies and activities for the kids. Football games on the big screens for you holiday football fans. Basically everything is there and it is a big party. Lots of fun. Bring yourself, your family, your friends, your neighbors.

3. CHRISTMAS HELP: Christmas is coming. This will be our third year launching our own version of Operation Christmas. Simply if you need help this Christmas with food/presents - shoot me a note. We have folks stepping up to support you. There are a couple different ways, we support you.

· Presents for the kids (about 3 each) will be included on our community outreach tree. When they come in we will sort them get them to you; and/or
· We will have lots food, diapers, supplies, small stocking stuffer gifts coming in; and/or
· For big needs, we have both families and growth groups who will adopt a family. They generally provide gifts, food baskets, gift cards, sometimes a tree or dinner. You can either meet the group and work directly with them or if you prefer not being contacted directly, they can work thru me. I want this easy and comfortable for you. We're here to take off the stress….not add more!!

We are here to make the holidays easier for you. We know there are needs out there and we very much want to come along side you and make the holidays special. This is not meant to help you by the Wii or digital camera for your kids, but to help you have a magical, wonderful Christmas season with as little financial stress as possible. So if you need help or would like a little extra, or know of a family that needs help – don’t be shy…shoot me an email – get on my list. If you have been around the last couple of years, we generally have plenty to go around and I already have families/growth groups waiting to adopt a family for the holidays.

Also mark your calendars – our Christmas Breakfast for military families (men/women/kids) is December 5th – Santa will be in the building, we’ll have a great breakfast, entertainment, door prizes, activities for the kids family photos, etc.

So Talk to me! What’s up? What are your needs? Don’t forget to spread the word about Thanksgiving. Hey I've missed you ladies!

Fitting in...

Wow..what a couple weeks! I went into surgery October 6th. All went well with the surgery until time to go home when I had a little problem staying conscious anytime I was vertical. In the end we had Mick and myself, my surgeon, the surgical nurse, the office nurse and some other random office people all in the parking garage trying to keep me conscious long enough to get me back inside the building.

Passing out is weird...I just felt like I wanted to sleep. I’d close by eyes and feel like I’d doze off then everyone would yell and put smelling salts under my nose and 3-4 minutes later I’d wake up. Then move and we’d start all over again. In the end I ended up in the hospital for a couple days while they figured out where I was losing blood. Two days later I had a second surgery to sort of vacuum me out remove pooling blood and fixing any leaks. So I came home after that and all’s been pretty good. I am really surprised how little pain I’ve actually had. Of course, these amazing little white pills they gave me seem to help a whole lot with any pain issues.

So I’m now confined (sort of) to the couch. It’s been fun though...friends have been bringing meals and it’s like a taste test every night. Mick is in heaven! So cool to have a hot meal for him every night and I don’t have to do a thing. I could get used to this. Of course sitting on the couch has given me lots and lots of time to think. Well actually I am in a four hour cycle. Take a pill – sleep for 3 hours – wake for one...take a pill sleep for three, wake for one etc. Anyway, so during the one hour waking time, I’ve been thinking...

My surgery was elective. I have the advantage of “needing it” due to weight loss. But it did make me think a lot about the choices we make to fit in, to feel better about ourselves, to change into someone or something we think we are not. I saw these beautiful girls in the surgeons office and couldn’t help but wonder what were they having done, fixed, nipped or tucked. Did they really need it? They looked modelish, yet they were in being "fixed".

We spend so much time trying to be other than we are. As I am approaching the great age of 50, I am acutely aware that I don’t seek the same public approval as I did when I was younger. I now get my “approval” some from my husband and most from my relationship with God. Of course some is just age and I got tired of asking for some illusive approval that never really came. But boy do I remember being in my teens, 20’s and even 30’s and constantly seeking to fit in to get approval from who...the cool people? The in-crowd? The next door neighbors? and so on. I remember once going to pick up my nephews from a swim lesson. I arrived early so went over and sat by a couple of my sisters neighbors, whom I had met a few times. They got up and moved! Yikes. Guess I didn’t fit into that neighborhood.

Anyway, I have a friend in their 20’s struggling with the need to fit in. They morph and change to fit whatever crowd they are trying to fit into, so much so that they no longer have a grasp on who they are. Have you been there? I lived there for a lot of years. If we could just see ourselves as God sees us. When a mother sees her child, she knows this child is the most beautiful thing she could ever see. He/she is perfect... every grin, every action, every moment – they are beautiful, they are perfect, they are amazing. That is how God sees us – we are His daughter, we are his Son and we are perfect his His eyes. It is only in our own eyes that we have to measure up to someone else.

So time for another pill and I’ll catch you all in 3 hours...