I started this blog with thoughts about marriage, actually with thoughts about taking the easy way out…well not me, but others. Today I received a call about a young marine who needed some quick help. His wife picked up and left, leaving behind their 3 month old and 2 year old. She took the bank account, but left the babies. Took the car and car seats, left the babies. No diapers wipes or formula. How does this happen? How does life get so overwhelming, so intolerable that you pick and go, leaving behind your children? I know nothing about the marriage, the husband, the life….but logic would tell you if the husband was the problem you wouldn’t leave your babies with him.
This is third time I’ve seen this in the past year or so. For most women, it’s the one bond they'd never break, so what does it take for a young mom to walk out on her family? In some cases, the mom is acting on a belief that it is genuinely better for the child. Maybe they think that the children will be better off with the dad….financially better, familiar environment, etc. Hmmm, maybe. Maybe, they think leaving the babies with the dad is genuinely leaving them in good hands or better hands. Could it be through depression over life that they no longer see themselves as fit to care for their children? Because their self-esteem is so low they talk themselves out of motherhood? So off they go leaving the babies with dad. Or, as in one of the cases I ran across, the grass appears greener away from the family and there is a new guy that looks like an answer to all of life’s problems.
So they go. They may even think it is a temporary measure. That eventually they’ll have the money and somewhere suitable to live, and then they will come for their kids. Of course they usually end up in court fighting for custody. In the end, the children have to choose and they choose to stay with their father because he is who they know.
I have never heard of a mom who walked away who felt that it was the right thing to do. No one can describe the misery of being a mother who is apart from their children. So I guess this is just another plea…go for help, cry out, see a counselor, talk to a friend, a pastor, a mentor…but cry out. Fight for your family, for your marriage, for your life. Giving up, taking the easy way out, going for the greener grass, quick escapes ….are never the answer in any areas of life but especially not with our marriage or our children. And, continually seek God.
