Someone once told me that there comes a time when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain brought on by change. I took this to mean look for your pain and find the easy way out. So I signed the divorce papers and changed my life, but never considered that maybe this actually meant that I needed to change. One of the phrases we often hear around church is that once we commit to being a follower of Christ, that God will change us from the inside out. But we still have to allow the change, move with the change and adjust to the change.
When I divorced, God didn't let go. I moved into my "new and improved" life and spiraled downward until I hit bottom. Of course at this point in time I didn't know God. God was not in my marriage or particularly in my life. I had this view of God. If you had asked me, I would have said I knew God, but I was not in relationship with him. So here is what I learned – you need God. Ah! So I guess this not a great epiphany. We all need God in our lives, but in some ways we need God even more once we are married.
The challenge of living with another person day-in and day-out deepens our need for God. There is an old cliche about two is company but three is a crowd. Wrong. Two is a marriage; three (when the third entity is God) is a good marriage, maybe a great marriage. Without God, the first bump makes you think maybe I should get out. A major crisis and the door is looking mighty good. So with God in the picture, you have an interesting option when life turns sour. God is your lifeline. God you can turn to. God you can go to. And, yes you can even ask God to change you. To lift your burdens, to change your emotions and to help you understand. God gives us grace. He accepts us with all our failings and wants to be in relationship with us. Why? How is it that we are lovable to God? And, how is it that we can’t show this same grace to people in our lives? How do we forgive, how do we show grace, how do we accept – we ask God to change us. That’s how.
Man there have been so many times since I got married that my husband and I wish we could take the easy way out when it comes to dealing with his parents. They have done nothing but try and start fights between us, and have already expressed that he made the biggest mistake of his life when he married me. Sad thing is that they are pastors!... So us having to totally rely on God to help us through this situation has helped to strengthen our marriage.
ReplyDelete....I just have to remind myself over and over again that God loves me and always forgives me so I should do the same. Much easier said than done.